Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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