Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
