Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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