If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
