Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
