when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
