ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
