Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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