Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
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When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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