so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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