so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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