We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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