I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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