I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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