I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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