so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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