went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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