He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
