he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
