what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
