this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
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I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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