i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
