I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
