He kissed a someone with a penis
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize