I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
