I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
