Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
its liver damage thursday
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