She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
