So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
