so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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