umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
