I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
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And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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