yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
