Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Holy sore nipples Batman
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
