I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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