I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Is it penis luge time yet?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
