You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
