her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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