She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
