can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
