I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
