Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
