dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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