elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Boobs are out for the taking
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
