I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
