She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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