hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
