You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
