I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
