i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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