I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize