i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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