I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
