why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
