Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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