WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
