we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
