By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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