My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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