the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
