with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
