Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
