I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
