Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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