i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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